I fucked off to Reno

And I had to leave that place

as well as that damn city

home to all the stress that

I’d bring me

So I packed my words

of lost and hurt that I made

And I fucked off to Spain

Cuz the skies are clear in Barcelona

For the first time in a long time I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night thinking about code and deadlines or fires and how it’s my fate to live with a broken heart forever.

And I’m tracing your face

With words to a page that I found on the plane

But the skies are clear in Barcelona

When you spend as much time alone as I do, you seem to forget you are a person and that you are part of the world or that you were once beautiful in that world, but my friends reminded me and we laughed so much making up for twenty years of not having laughed together and only over text. But I’m not going to lie, I feel so strange around people these days, but you would never know it.

Heading back your way

Heading back over

To that cold shoulder of Ontario

And this morning when I woke up I was ridden with anxiety and dread and vertigo, but I had to get it together because I needed to drive back. I would close my eyes and think of the picture of you, you sent me the night before and the sight of you calmed my breathing, stopped my hands from shaking and allowed me to get ready. I popped a motion sickness pill for the vertigo and I drove back home to the cold shoulder of what is now my quiet life where the skies are so clear. They’re the only thing that keeps me here.

Lyrics: Barcelona by Ten Kills the Pack