You can’t have Elvis

I will never understand men and their seasons. Unlike a bird, who diligently sticks to the clock of nature, men’s clock is dictated by pure selfishness. I wish I could say it was dictated purely by the need to want to fuck, damn, wouldn’t that be grand, then we’d all be on the same page, but it’s not. They have needs of every kind, and they don’t give anything in return. So when my secret lover texted last night, I didn’t ask where he’d been. Where was he when I needed him? To them, Sirens already have everything they need.

When I told him I was going to sleep, I tried, but tossed and turned in pain for a good while. I grew so frustrated, then I heard someone say, to me, “what is wrong with you? You’re sitting here suffering as if you had to! Use your medicine to heal yourself. ” I thought, “oh, yeah! Que pendeja. I can absolutely heal myself. Even the most clever witch forgets she can heal herself. So I reached over to my quartz crystal, the one my mother programmed for me so I wouldn’t get Covid, and I held on to it like a crucifix during my last breaths. I immediately fell in the deepest sleep as if I lost consciousness. For hours I was lost to the world and all that I kept seeing were the words, Grass Valley. When I eventually woke up, I was soaked in sweat and panting, but I was healed. I could feel it immediately. I thanked myself, my crystal and my mother. And I surmised that Grass Valley was were the rodeo cowboy had moved to and someone wanted me to know.

In some way my secret lover having texted had been magical and maybe had sent me in the weird trip, and had reinforced the bond we have had all our lives and will continue to have forever if I can forgo his selfishness. He said, “I’ve been listening to this guy. Everyone trips out on him. Let me know what you think.” When I saw what he sent, I thought I was hallucinating. I wrote back, “Shut the fuck up! This has been on repeat for me for days! After all these decades we still have the same taste in obscure music.”

“Roy Orbison meets Elvis.” He said.

“Yes!” I said thinking how I haven’t been able to listen to Elvis since I left the rodeo cowboy. So there and then, I made it clear:

“You had all of me, body, soul and spirit, but you can’t have Elvis!”